When Confidence Feels Like a Deflating Christmas Balloon

Pics Dagoretti mission 031

Something happened today that made me feel like a deflated and discarded Christmas balloon. These are things I should have been used to by now. But, for some unknown reasons, I still find myself feeling disappointed, frustrated and clutching straws. Well, I don’t know what clutching straws has to do with how I felt today, but I feel that it translates to how I felt.

Having worked and volunteered in government institutions for years now, I didn’t know that being told to ‘come back next week‘ without seeing and meeting the girls would deflate the confidence I had had arriving at the centre. This, after I had woken up at 3 am to prepare lessons and look for online writing jobs so I could  be free to drive 17 kilometres in order to mentor later in the afternoon.

My work as a voluntary change maker is a strange one. Since I chose to focus on developing Lifesong Kenya and working as a full time volunteer, I have had to make drastic choices and adjustments to my life. That usually calls for late nights, early mornings and long days that stretch to 18 hours, most of the time.

That is why when I arrive at the centre and I am told I cannot see the girls, I feel frustrated, disappointed, short changed and well… I also feel like a deflated Christmas balloon and that I am clutching at straws. It turns out there was another group that was mentoring the girls and I had to leave without accomplishing today’s goal and objective. As I left the centre, I remembered to speak positive things to myself.

Be an Expert on Being You; and Do it Well

  • Invest in growing your capacity and strength to bounce back from constant disappointments
  • Invest in a business card that bears your name and preferred job title and keep using it as a reminder of your ultimate destiny and use the bumps on the road as springboards towards the steps ahead
  • Invest in building healthy relationships with your family and friends who will encourage you when you hit rock bottom
  • Surround yourself with people who celebrate and empower you to continue growing and developing towards becoming a better you
  • Focus on your education and remember that no one can be at two places at the same time
  • Find out why you were born and why you are here
  • When you get a job, start down the ladder and do not look down upon people below you
  • Remember, the only way you climb a tree from the top is when you have dropped from a flying aeroplane and you have to come down!
  • Give back to the community and mentor others

In Conclusion

I wanted to encourage myself by telling you not to give up. But I am afraid I have ended up sharing more than that. Let me know if I have managed to blow air into your deflating balloon, okay? Oh, I was the one who started off with a deflated balloon…!



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